I don't even know how to start this, but here we go.
I miss you.
I miss your bear hugs.
I miss your intelligence.
I miss your being.
Your light has been gone for 7 years. But I can't stop thinking of you. I hope you're with us....with me. Cause I need you the most...ok I lie. My mom and WE need you. Miss you. Love you. Remember the last everything.
I've been thinking more and more of you cause I hear your song "Cool Change."
I named my child after you. I hope you're ecstatic up in heaven. (He definitely has a love for peas and eating one at a time...just like you) I can only imagine how you would be right this moment...
I miss you...a whole fucking lot. I could only imagine how you would swoop Gunnar up in your arms. How excited you would be when we made a playdate.
Daddy-O, I can only dream of you. I hope you know how wonderful you were/are. Cause without you...I wouldn't know where the water from the mountain came from. I wouldn't be the awesomeness I am without you and my mom by my side.
Regardless...I really wish you were still with us. My heart aches thinking how excited you would be for my son. He would be YOUR baby.
I can only hope that you are just proud of me. Yes, I have the strongest mom in the world, but you were the missing link to the soul. You're not my step dad, but the dad that let me choke him out at 7 years old.
I could really use your advice right about now. I could really use you BEING here.
This letter is my "prayer" to you so the whole world can see how amazing, awesome, fantastic, and every verb word I can think of you are.
I can't believe it's been 7 freaking years.
You will forever and ever be in our hearts.
Daddy-O, Mom, Me, And Cousin Ana
Love you, Daddy-O.